Wednesday, 23 December 2009

On 23.12.09 by KieronMoore   No comments
Christmas is approaching faster than a speeding turbolaser bolt (the opposite speed to all transportation within Britain) and so I should probably get a move on with this horrid shambles of a blog entry before festive spirit overwhelms me and I need to go take a few more paracetamol.

Of course there's all that peace, family, children, Jesus stuff but what Christmas is really all about is the Doctor Who Christmas special. So before I descend into screaming "DON'T LEAVE ME, DAVID" in the manner of a drunken tramp, can I say that I predict these final specials to be very good and that Matt Smith's series will also be very good, especially with Steven Moffat in charge. Yes, as strange an idea as it is, I have no objections to Doctor Who being run by a straight man. Christmas is a time for equality, after all. DON'T LEAVE ME DAVID!

Although this is undoubtedly the must have present this Christmas, I must have a quick fanwanky paragraph about my early Christmas present from the lovely chaps at Media Molecule. The latest expansion to LittleBigPlanet, Pirates of the Carribean levels and water (yes, WATER!) is erection-inducingly awesome. I told you there'd be a Kraken boss fight. I've started my latest level (expect to see it finished around March) incorporating the new features. I won't give too much away, but my electrified Communist speedboat works perfectly. Oh, and the sexiest hessian yet - Johnny Sacking Depp is in LittleBigPlanet (as Captain Sack Sparrow in Media Molecule's best pun since their inFAMOUS costume blog)!

After Christmas comes New Year and because we all know there's no way I'll find the time to write another post between the two lavishly capitalist festival times, let's now have a quick look back on 2009:

January - Barack Obama inaugurated as first black US President. Paterson Joseph annoyed at not accomplishing a similar fate.
February - I start writing this blog and an important piece of history is made.
March - Something must have happened, I just don't know what.
April - On April 29 and April 30, Arsenal Gear crash lands into Federal Hall, causing devastation to New York City from its coast. London comes under more "light-hearted" and "rompy" threat from some space manta rays and a thief dicking around in a flying bus.
May - I leave school. Ha, I'm never going to see you again, BRGS!
June - I do my GCSEs in BRGS. And ace them. Now I'm finished, I'm never going to see you again, BRGS! Michael Jackson sadly dies and conspiracy theorists speculate tirelessly on it. My favourite theory was that he had a hereditary disease; his death was caused by a defective billy gene. Sorry.
July - Children all over the Earth announce that they are coming, paedophiles are disappointed when it turns out to be a warning about an alien invasion and Torchwood is actually, seriously excellent.
August - I cruise the seas under the helm of Captain Bang but make an enemy of a small square of chocolate brownie.
September - I join BRGS sixth form. It's like lower school but with nice chairs, and I have two of what's called a "free", which is soon reduced to just one.
October - The International Olympic Committee awards the 2016 Summer Olympics to Rio de Janeiro. That's all I've got.
November - Modern Warfare 2 is released, the most high-profile gaming launch ever. It is set in 2015 and features a level where a massive chaotic gunfight causes quite a lot of damage in Rio de Janeiro. Conspiracy theorists, go! Also, I spend my birthday attempting (and failing) to eat 20 teabags, but have an epic party which most of my year come to, sneakily disguised as a parent's evening.
December - Why the hell would I look back on a month that hasn't finished yet?

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Tuesday, 1 December 2009

On 1.12.09 by KieronMoore   No comments
WARNING: post contains spoilertrons for Modern Warfare 2, but if you don't know the ending yet then you're either:
a) not a real nerd, because you haven't finished it yet, so get off this bit of the internet and go finish it,
b) a person with no friends, because you haven't heard anyone talking about it (it's fanbase in the UK alone is pretty much the exact size of Belgium), in which case, welcome to the internet, nerd, or
c) a Nintendo fanboy. Hi, Dale.

I got Modern Warfare 2 for my birthday last Thursday, because I'd heard that it's very good, and indeed it is, in fact it's better than you could possibly imagine (although possibly not as good as MGS4 or LBP). I played the first two levels on Thursday, but that was all, because I had to jet off to my epic birthday party. It was so awesome, nearly all the year went; I must be extremely popular! Actually, it was a parent's evening, but that's only a minor detail. By the way, the parent's evening went well: I'm brilliant, I'm a genius, Mr Wyton won't organise a trip to Germany because he'd need to find his birth certificate etc.

Personally, I'm against war, I don't like how people spend all their time making nice things and other people come along and break them, but I'm all for pretend war in games. Hopefully, all out war between Russia nd the US won't break out in reality like in MW2. If that happens, it'll be the end of everything. Everything, you understand? Even your pension!

Anyway, I've finished the whole campaign now. It was jolly well impressive: great variety of awesome gameplay elements, good graphics and whatnot. The story was a little bit silly (I still don't see why destroying the International Space Station was the best idea) but I don't think it's worth making a fuss about that. After all, there isn't a single near-invincible ninja or giant mecha, and (as you've probably gathered by now) I loved the Metal Gear Solid series. Captain Price wears some lovely hats, I should like a hat like that.

The controversial level was quite interesting and not that bad really; it's only pretending to massacre civilians (who all seem to be wearing the same clothes) in an airport. Would have been worse if it was a bus station. I loathe bus stations. Terrible places. Full of lost luggage and lost souls.

Was a slight shame that I had been spoiled though. The only thing that surprised me in the storyline was that Shepherd had a moustache. I knew he was going to be a traitor, because he's corrupt and stuff. Well, not really that corrupt. Ten million years of absolute power. That's what it takes to be really corrupt. Shepherd was just an army guy with a sideline in being a prick.

I've also played some of the multiplayer. After one game, I was at 6 kills, 3 deaths (that was a good day, I need more days like this) and very much considering never playing it again, in order to prevent myself from buggering up my good ratio. However, I gave into the temptation and played again and, lo and behold, buggered up my good ratio. I'm now at around 0.75, but I'm sure I'll get better (although I said that about all the games I've previously played). I haven't even played all the maps yet. Somehow, I've played about 3 of them 3 times each and not been allowed to touch the other ones, but my favourite so far is Derailed, because I like the mix of Russia, snow and trains. The only thing it's missing is bears. Perhaps they could be patched in, as a kill streak perk maybe? Or a third faction?

Basically, Modern Warfare 2 is so very good that it's hard to put down. I've only stopped playing for two reasons, partly to write this, but also because I was about to get RSI in my thumbs from the PS3 controller, and I like my thumb. I need my thumb. I'm very attached to my thumb. OK, back to gaming!

P.S. I've been playing this game. I count 98 points from this post alone! Shall reset counter for sixth form tomorrow.

Tuesday, 24 November 2009

On 24.11.09 by KieronMoore   No comments

(For this lovely project.)

Yo Dave,

Has anyone told you yet that your Doctor Who stories were good? It’s possible, but I doubt it, so let me tell you: your Doctor Who stories were good, and you were good in the role of the Doctor. Bet no-one’s told you that before. I considered writing “It’s OK, ‘Love and Monsters’ and ‘Fear Her’ weren’t your fault” there, but I though that might be a bit rude, so I didn’t.
Anyway, you were pretty awesome (and awesomely pretty), so I made you this similarly pretty awesome (and awesomely pretty, but you probably get the point) picture to show my appreciation. It shows one of the episodes that I’ll make when I am head writer of Doctor Who and Director General of the BBC, which can’t be too far off now (but please try not to age too much anyway, I’ll need to get you back for a past Doctor series). In this story, the Doctor arrives in troubles-era Belfast harbour to find it under attack from Godzilla and his nemesis, the demon beast Axor, who is enslaving innocents in order to wage a destructive war against Godzilla. The Doctor eventually defeats the monsters with the help of his companion, O’Overend, and a handy potato cannon. The story is based on what I learned in GCSE English. Obviously my series will need a high budget, especially considering that at least half of the other episodes will feature a massive spaceship battle, but that’s OK, because I’ll be a billionaire by the time we produce this.
Oh, I think I will tell you one more time that you were a great Doctor. You were a great Doctor. I haven’t seen your final specials yet, but am very much looking forward to them, especially after the fantastically brilliant “The Waters of Mars”. I thought that the “main character goes a bit naughty and commits morally questionable acts towards the end of their storyline” storyline couldn’t be bettered after McNulty in season 5 of ‘The Wire’, but you’re a strong challenger. Stronger than a bear against a magpie.
One last thing – you were brilliant!

Kieron Moore

(I'd say this is the nerdiest thing I've ever done, but, you know...)

Sunday, 15 November 2009

On 15.11.09 by KieronMoore in ,    No comments
In the second of my regular series of film reviews, I'm going to talk to you about a horror film I watched today, Drag Me to Hell. Beware, I might post some spoilers, but it doesn't matter because you'd have worked out the ending five minutes into the film anyway.

Drag Me to Hell is about a woman who works in a bank, so the audience are already against her. No, no, she's a goodie. Anyway, a scary old woman comes into the bank and our heroine refuses to give the scary old woman an extension on her mortgage, so, naturally, the scary old woman unleashes an evil demon on her, which will torment her for three days before taking her to Hell for eternal damnation. Society really shouldn't be so harsh on bankers, they deserve those bonuses for living with the risk of demon curses.
Look, it's your mum.

The middle bit of the film is mainly all horror cliché and conventions, with flickery lights, a worried but helpful fortune teller, a séance and an adorable kitten being stabbed. I was quite entertained by the Looney Tunes influenced scene in which an anvil falls on a demon scary old lady vision's head and her eyes get squashed out on stalks.

The ending, however, is where Drag Me to Hell is truly memorable and I would like to pretend that I totally didn't see it coming. Actually, I wouldn't like to pretend that, because then I would seem less intelligent than George Bush after his brains have been attacked by a manic zombie panda bear with a chainsaw (a creature which this film was sorely lacking). The fortune teller says to the main character something very close to "You need to give away this small circular object to someone else by the end of the day, or else you'll be dragged to Hell by a demon and will have to endure an eternity of torture. I'll put it in this white envelope for you, that just happens to be identical to another white envelope that, earlier in the film, you placed a totally different and insignificant but similar shaped and sized small circular object in. There's no way you can mess this up." followed by, less than a minute later, "Woops, I dropped all my stuff on the floor, including both of these white envelopes."

In fact, that reminds me of something...

So, yeah, almost as good as Mega Snake.

Thursday, 29 October 2009

On 29.10.09 by KieronMoore   No comments

There's a reason behind all this, I tell you.

And that's just one example of how I've been spending my half term productively. I've also filled a bucket with paper shreddings and sprayed it with water, watched 6 episodes of a documentary about World War II and watched some children's science fiction. I did try applying for some jobs, too, but to no great avail. They should recognise how awesome I am and immediately make me CEO.

Friday, 2 October 2009

On 2.10.09 by KieronMoore in    2 comments
Today was the day of our art trip to Fountains Abbey in Yorkshire. Yes, Yorkshire. There's normally one to London, but the head of art is pretending to be on maternity leave, so Yorkshire sufficed.

We were told to draw four pictures, take photos and "don't forget to visit the photography exhibition." So I drew two and a bit pictures, took the photos, and I didn't forget to visit the exhibition. And when I say I didn't forget to go, I mean I didn't forget to go, not that I went.

We would have gone if we had more time, but we spent so long walking to lunch, because the tea room was so bloody far away. You see, most people were sensible and went to the nearby café, but I heard that there was a tea room and thought "I like tea!" so was one of the very few fools who tried to get to it, then was so worn out by the time I got there, about 20 minutes after setting off, that I didn't even have tea, because I needed something more refreshing. The sandwiches were naff, too.

Also, the coach journey was pretty long and tedious, made worse by my incompetence in socialising with anybody but Barnsey, the lovable but dull rogue that he is, leading me to smash my head into a chair repeatedly and look at a small but not worthy of being looked at for so long tripod.

This is my favourite out of my photographs, which will be part of my A-level coursework. Unfortunately, Barnesy wouldn't let me stop to do a drawing of it.

Overall, very enjoyable.

Sunday, 20 September 2009

On 20.9.09 by KieronMoore in    No comments

I've finally finished watching all 60 episodes of the Wire, after starting on season one in May(ish). It certainly was most excellent and had a great ending, the extra long final episode being utterly fantastically brilliant in every aspect, except for that unusual furry mammal on Prez's face. Lester Freamon, on the other hand, knew how to wear a beard properly and was a favourite character of mine.

I was considering writing an essay analysing the themes and issues presented throughout the series, but thought it wouldn't fit the tone of this blog. Also, see reason for not posting pictures in my previous blog post.

However, now it's finished I feel empty inside. What am I meant to do with my life? I suppose I'll go and cry into some tea while mumbling about how, as Senator Clay Davies would say, sheeeeeeeeee-it British TV is.

Or, I could watch this classic scene again. Anyone want to buy me the box set for Christmas (or my birthday, put November 26th into your diaries)?


Thursday, 17 September 2009

On 17.9.09 by KieronMoore   No comments
I've published a new LittleBigPlanet level, "The Devil went down to Guildford" by mmmpieisgood. You should go and play it right now.

Who'd have thought that below Media Molecule's peaceful home town of Guildford lies a dark cave populated by naughty, naughty demons? And Sackboy was only trying to get home from the pub...

I'd post some pictures, but frankly, I'm busy and I can't be arsed. Maybe another time.

Thursday, 27 August 2009

On 27.8.09 by KieronMoore   No comments
I have nine A stars
Three A at GCSE
And A at add maths

Also, it's nice to see the Free Press reported this well, with a wall of names and numbers with no explanation as to what they mean. I'm 13 (13) apparently. No, no idea. At least it's not as bad as their A-level results announcement last week, in which they did explain the numbers but had actually got all of them wrong.

Monday, 10 August 2009

On 10.8.09 by KieronMoore   3 comments
If you're wondering why I've not been posting recently (which you're not, because I always take ages between posts and no-one reads this blog regularly anyway), then it's because I've been on holiday for the past two weeks, cruising the Mediterranean on the Navigator of the Seas.

No, this blog entry is not to show off how I've been having a good time on a wonderful holiday, it is in fact to show off my beautiful tan.

Apparently, my skin now looks "healthy" and no longer like I am an albino Victorian child with rickets. Even though I'm still thousands of shades whiter than the average person who was on board for half the time I was, that's still pretty good going for a ginger, right?


- The captain for the second week was called Captain Bang. At first I was a bit worried about being under the care of someone who sounds like a naff superhero; what if we ran into his equally onomatopoeic nemesis, Dr Von Boom? Or a cyborg whale? However, I came to appreciate Captain Bang as he got the Navigator out of all the tricky situations it ended up in, mainly by speaking on the announcement channel, starting with "Hello, this is Captain Bang speaking" and then drifting into incomprehensibility and having to be translated by a welsh guy. (Disclaimer: I didn't take that photo of captain Bang, I was too much in awe of his powers. I found it on Google.)

- An Italian guy fell over on stage when introducing a Beatles tribute act. That was hilarious.

- Failing to fix the safe in my cabin that was really just a retarted cupboard with numbers on it. If you pressed close, the word OPEN came onto the display and nothing happened. Once it started a nine minute countdown for absolutely no reason, skipped to two and a half minutes and then nothing happened at the end.

- I can now say "no" in Greek, "one hundred and fourteen" in Italian and "grandfather" in Danish. I'm quite the multilinguist.

- Losing to an ex US army soldier at Ping Pong and to my mum at crazy golf.

- Can anyone tell me what "pas da fresque" (or something similar, that's from what I heard) means? It's either Spanish or Catalan... a pretty but deadly assassin lady from Barcelona attacked my hat and then shouted it repeatedly at me. No, I don't make this up. I did the best solution to any problem one doesn't understand and just ignored the hat-raper, she went away eventually.

- The food. I can't think of something funny to say about the food, as I keep being distracted by memories of how tasty it was, one turkey sandwich in particular.


- Towel folding demonstration a disappointment. I expected to learn a useful skill but it was just many people gathered around a piano upon which someone was folding a towel into various lovely shapes, which no explanation on how to do it.

- There was an evil square of chocolate brownie on a little area of deck outside my balcony which could always be seen but never be reached. It stared at me maliciously all holiday, and it took great effort to heroically resist the temptation to turn to the dark side, leap into the restricted area and crush every atom of it's existence. We asked at Guest Relations for it to be cleaned away on day 8, but it never was. Even the crew were scared of it.

Look at it, the face of pure evil, squirming with malign intent, standing in the face of the good and righteous and refusing to go away. For two whole weeks!

I could tell you more, but I have eight hours of The Wire Sky+'d, so addios!

Monday, 13 July 2009

On 13.7.09 by KieronMoore   1 comment
...this just takes the urine.

Through a series of unfortunate consequences I ended up taking the aptly named "Are you gay, straight or bi?" quiz (if one is feeling generous enough to call it a 'quiz'), and look what bloody happened.
I got 'Your gay!' and whoever created this needs to fix their bloody grammar. The English language is going down the arseing metaphorical drain. Where the hell is my apostrophe? I mean, do you know how many exclamation marks there were in the automatically posted comment before I had to change it? Three! No comment on the result, even though there was a question which practically asked "what sexuality are you?" and I didn't answer gay. It's like if there was a quiz trying to magically work out my favourite author featuring the question "Who is your favourite author?" for which I may (hypothetically) answer "Dickens" followed by the vastly intelligent program working out that my favourite author is, in fact, Shakespeare. Oh no, sorry, that wouldn't happen, because the twazzocks who make these quizzes aren't literate enough to use fucking words!

As if this experience was irritating enough, the situation only escalated when I saw this on a friend's page:

Interesting to note that, as well as displaying the same (possibly worse) extremely limited grasp of using grammar as my equally ambiguous result (no apostrophe, capital letters at start of all words, no full stop, wrong gadding spelling of "your"), this result, with little subtlety, clumsily exposes the writer of this godforsaken quiz as homophobic. The description for "Straight" is "Your Normal"? This just shows the astonishing evil lurking in human civilisation. I'm starting to agree with the woman in Torchwood who argued that we should give all the thick kids away to aliens. In fact, scrap that ten percent thing, let's give them everyone. Except John and I. Then we can prove that his result is wrong, whilst using proper grammar.

Saturday, 13 June 2009

On 13.6.09 by KieronMoore   No comments
I've decided I might actually start posting on this Twitter thing I signed up to a while ago; once I've worked out how to use it, follow me here:

It can be a microcosm to the macrocosm that is this blog!

Sunday, 31 May 2009

On 31.5.09 by KieronMoore in    No comments
As the first in a series that will probably last a whole one edition, I present to you a review of a film I saw on the Sci-Fi Channel last night.

"Mega Snake" is an emotional movie that explores themes such as fear, tradition, trust and a massive snake that grows to about 70 foot and eats lots of people. It is certainly a unique and inspirational piece that leads to an exciting climax.

There weren't actually any fighter planes or tanks like in the above picture, which i think is good because they would have made it cheesy and crap.

I was happy to see a cameo appearance by Feedback, my most favourite superhero ever, who I once saw win the final of something that was a bit like The Apprentice but for superheroes. Michael Shanks, Siri Baruc and Matthew Atherton, three of my favourite thespians ever, were also very good and showed impressive talent.

However, I think it missed out on the chance to have an appearance by Godzilla. A climactic showdown between the Mega Snake and Godzilla would have been amazing! Maybe in the sequel.

Final verdict: all round quality entertainment, desreves multiple Oscars. 12.48/10

Tuesday, 12 May 2009

On 12.5.09 by KieronMoore   No comments
So, I've officially finished school and once again have shown my true resolve by not becoming overly emotional. It is really very sad, I won't see any of my friends again until the exams next week. I'll miss John most, the lovable huggybunny.

However, I once again find myself the victim of a disgraceful conspiracy to not allow the correct people to win things. I very much deserved the award I was nominated for, "most laid back student". Even the great Mr Wyton has described me as laid back! Also, Adam unfairly didn't get "best hair" and Barnsey, the Herculean beast, unfairly didn't get "most macho student". He deserved that for the time he single handedly threw me over a massive chair!

This is like that time back at year 9 camp, where my form had the best entry for the talent show, including me as a wolf in a cardboard lorry and everyone, even some of the winning form, agreed we should have won and so it was probably rigged so that the same form couldn't win both the talent show and the magazine contest thing, which we also won, because we were great and I wrote an article about swingball despite never having played the gadding thing.

Speaking of me wearing cardboard, I seem to do that quite often; maybe I have some kind of fetish?

Occasions where I have worn cardboard:
- Year 9 camp talent show
- Pritt Stick costume at Dan's parties (twice)
- Metal Gear Rawtenstall
- Graphics group photo
- Probably more

In other news, the BBC have changed their mind. Matt Smith's out, this guy's leaving his current job to become Tennant's successor:

Sunday, 26 April 2009

On 26.4.09 by KieronMoore   1 comment
Here's a nice little story that was produced last English lesson for Mr Overend's uber-specific practice exam question: Write a piece in which you convey strong emotion. He should have realised what would happen!

Free Image Hosting at


(If that's too small for you to read, click for bigger version. And get your eyes tested, you short sighted fool!)

Tuesday, 14 April 2009

On 14.4.09 by KieronMoore   No comments
No, not that hole. Not here anyway.

This is my new LBP level, an entry for the Golf Course Challenge.

If anyone reading this (anyone?) has LBP, please play (and heart, I need the votes to win a shiny, shiny crown) LBPGolfEU Par 4 by mmmpieisgood

Ooh and this time, I've gone all techno techno and I have a video, look! Mmmm HD... (thanks very much to SheepLord for his level recording service)

Some pictures too for the less video-savvy of you delightful lot:Super sexy logo!Everything you need for golf: club, ball, tee, buggy, sponge with exclamation mark on hanging from tree
Me with my caddyFinally the green, showing the level's antagonist, a cute furry beaver.

Finally, better late than never, here is a wonderful video of my previous level, Doctor Who Tribute: Invasion of the Daleks:

Wednesday, 25 March 2009

On 25.3.09 by KieronMoore   No comments

After yesterday bringing you the epic news that the production side of my graphics coursework is completely destroyed, today I bring the sequel! This time it is the Word documents that constitute the actual coursework that have been ballsed up beyond recognition. After spending hours producing them yesterday, I brought them into school on my USB pen to find...
over 375 pages of little squares!

Right, well then...

It seems my USB pen wants to play the "corrupting all your files" game. Pity, 'twas a good friend, that little shiny device.
And when did I find this out? The day of the deadline. Poo socks.

"totally screwed" - a professional opinion on my coursework files from the IT technician.

Tuesday, 24 March 2009

On 24.3.09 by KieronMoore   No comments
Making a point of sale display for a video game, eh? No way I can flange this up!
Picture for my evaluation, of members of my target market looking at my product and commenting on it. Looking at it, not holding it together, of course.

They let go of it for one bally second. Goodness me!

Sunday, 1 March 2009

On 1.3.09 by KieronMoore   No comments
Another LittleBigPlanet related post, huzzah!

This time I've put my creative genius to work on making a survival challenge, so I hope it is included in Media Molecule's next Survival Challenge Picks!

MmSC Survival Challenge: Space Race by mmmpieisgood is up now! You've been challenged to a spaceship race; try to survive and collect score bubbles for as long as you can! But your opponent doesn't play nice...

(And I hope the subliminal messaging in my last two level's logos works)

Friday, 20 February 2009

On 20.2.09 by KieronMoore   1 comment
After much hard work, my amazing level for LittleBigPlanet, "Doctor Who Tribute: Invasion of the Daleks" by mmmpieisgood is complete! If you happen to have LBP, please check it out! Here are some screenshots:

Logo-icon thingyMy sackboy with the Tenth Doctor, played by a slab of cardboard David Tennant.Little on the outside, Big on the inside, can travel to any Planet"Goodness, another alien invasion!" That's Donna's Grandad, OK? Outside Rose Tyler's house.
Use the sonic paintinator against the Daleks!x2 area for time travellers who travel with a companion

Also, there is a boss battle, but I won't spoil that for you.

Tuesday, 17 February 2009

On 17.2.09 by KieronMoore   No comments

This is a tribute to Metal Gear Solid that me and my friends did last year, during the long, arduous wait for Guns of the Patriots. I play the role of Snake (quite convincingly) in the video. We didn't get it on camera, but we were actually kicked out of Focus DIY store for this! That was one thing I could cross off my lifetime ambitions.

Friday, 6 February 2009

On 6.2.09 by KieronMoore   1 comment
It's trying to tell us something...

Heh, I made this a while ago and thought I might as well remind people via my blog that they have lost a particular game. The clips from Doctor Who: Utopia and The Sound of Drums, BBC Wales.
For an explanation about the game, go to to learn about THE GAME. In this episode of Doctor Who, the Master takes over the world by getting that rhythm stuck in everyone's head. A group of people at my school decided to make everyone associate the rhythm with THE GAME, so when it is clapped everyone who hears loses.

Tuesday, 3 February 2009

On 3.2.09 by KieronMoore in , ,    1 comment

Big version of image here

Right now, yes, this is the item I mentioned in my first post. It is a piece of German homework about a cat, and I decided to make it contain as many references to the internet as possible. It has now been typed up in German and is going to go on a school wall display! Here is a translation in English and a German transcription:

I have bought a special cat!

Speech bubble: All
your base are belong to us!

1. Name? Age?
My cat, Megazor, is over 9000 years old.

2. Where / When / Why did I buy?
I bought Megazor last Tuesday from eBay. I saw his picture and the seller's feedback rating, and knew that Megazor was the cat for me!

3. Eats and drinks?
Megazor enjoys eating cheeseburgers and says "Can I has cheeseburger?" when he is hungry. He drinks Powerthirst, an energy drink for men (and male cats).

4. Description - appearance and personality?
Megazor is very cute and fluffy. Also, he is very intelligent. He is sex addict
ed and enjoys masturbating.

5. Favourite place - why?
His favourite place is Sparta, because he is not a blasphemer or a madman. There are many men who do not wear shirts, because it is so hot.

6. Interesting habits?
In his spare time, Megazor enjoys destroying worlds. He also listens to music. His favourite song is "Never Gonna Give You Up" by Rick Astley.

7. Psychological problems?
No, because Megazor is now over his post-traumatic stress syndrome and the voices in his head are actually aliens from another dimension, making an amateur attempt at telepathy.

8. My cat and the future?
Megazor will become very powerful in the future, and next year will travel with me to Tokyo, where he hopes to fight Godzilla.

Ich habe eine besondere Katze gekauft!

1. Name? Alter?
Meine Katze, Megazor, ist über 9000 Jahre alt.

2. Wo/Wann/Warum gekauft?
Ich habe Megazor letzten Dienstag von eBay gekauft. Ich habe seine Bilder und des Verkäufers Rückmeldungen gesehen, und dass Megazor war die Katze für mich gewiss!

3. Frisst und trinkt?
Megazor frisst gern Cheeseburgers und sagt „Kann ich Cheeseburger haben?“ wenn er hungrig ist. Er trinkt Powerthirst, ein Energiegetränk fur Männer (und Kater).

4. Beschreibung – Aussehen und Persönlichkeit?
Megazor ist sehr dufte und flaumig. Auch, ist er sehr intelligent. Er ist sexsüchtig und onaniert gern.

5. Lieblingsplatz – warum?

Sein Lieblingsplatz ist Sparta, weil er kein Gottesläster oder ein Verrückten ist. Es gibt viele Männer, die keine Hemde tragen, weil es so heiß ist.

6. Interessante Gewohnheiten?
In seiner Freizeit, zerstört Megazor gern Welten. Auch hört er Müsik. Sein Lieblingslied ist „Never Gonna Give You Up“ von Rick Astley.

7. Psychologische Probleme?
Nein, weil jetzt ist Megazor über sein posttraumatisches Stresssyndrom, und die Stimmen in seinem Kopf sind sogar Außerirdischen von einer anderes Dimension.

8. Meine Katze und die Zukunft?
Megazor wird in der Zukunft sehr mächtig werden, und wird nächstes Jahr mit mir nach Tokyo fahren, wo er höfft mit Godzilla zu kämpfen.

On 3.2.09 by KieronMoore   7 comments

Yes, well, hello, I'm setting up a blog and all that. Now how does this bally thing work? Oh yes, right, hmmmmm...
OK, I'm setting this up because of something awesome I did in school that everyone said just had to go on the internet, so I will post it here soon and then everyone can look and go "ooh!" like a pleasured badger and all that, yes.

By the way, I should let you know, I'm a PS3 fanboy and will probably end up reviewing LittleBigPlanet at some time and giving it 10 out of 10 as it is, as the kids on the street would say, rather sick. Yes. Those of you who may wish to contact me can do so via my PSN: "mmmpieisgood" or my email: . Yes, I know my currently produced LBP levels are of potentially unsatisfactory quality, but I have a really very good one coming up.

Please try not to break my internets blog, and may the force by with you!

PS. I'm ginger, BTW.