Saturday, 7 February 2015
My second entry for the Go Into The Story Dialogue Writing Challenge.
Brief: Write a scene built around the line “You need to get out”
DR JONES: Mister… Smith?
SMITH: John.
DR JONES: Great. It’s a break-up you want erasing, John?
SMITH: Yeah. It’s difficult to move on, you know. Can’t get her out of my head.
DR JONES: That’s where I come in. Now, you’ve read the terms and conditions?
SMITH: Oh, yes.
(DR JONES STARTS CONNECTING CABLES TO SMITH’S HEAD AND HIS OWN)
DR JONES: And you’re aware of all the risks inherent in the operation?
SMITH: Yeah, yeah.
DR JONES: And you’ve never…
SMITH: Look, Doc, I’ve read all your stuff, alright? I’ve paid a lot of cash for this, can we just get it over with?
DR JONES: Alright. Now, it might feel a little weird at first, but I assure you, I’ll be in and out of your head as quickly as possible.
SMITH: You’d better be.
DR JONES: OK. Going in. Easy now.
SMITH: Ow!
DR JONES: A little shock’s normal. OK, a lot of memories here, I’m focusing on… here she is. Emma, is it? Auburn hair, tall…
SMITH: Yep.
DR JONES: Blue eyes?
SMITH: Yeah… wait, no! Emma’s eyes were brown.
DR JONES: Are you sure?
SMITH: Yes. I think. I’m not sure… but that’s what’s meant to happen, right? I’m forgetting.
DR JONES: I haven’t started wiping yet.
SMITH: Doc, I don’t like this. I thought you were a professional!
DR JONES: Erica… Erica?
SMITH: No, Emma!
DR JONES: A lot of neural activity around the name Erica… John, be honest with me, have you ever had a memory cleanse before?
SMITH: No. At least, I don’t think so. I wouldn’t remember, would I?
DR JONES: Well, your record was clean. But there’s clearly been someone in here, and they’ve not left it in good condition.
SMITH: What are you saying, Doc… oh! Where did that memory come from? What the fuck did you do?
DR JONES: Goddamnit, why would you go to one of those backstreet quacks?
SMITH: I don’t know, Doc, it’s fuzzy, I… this is starting to hurt!
DR JONES: I’m going to have to abort.
SMITH: Get out of my mind, doc! Get the fuck out!
DR JONES: I’m trying, but I can only concentrate if you calm your…
SMITH: You need to –
SMITH AND DR JONES: – get out!
SMITH AND DR JONES: Uh oh.
SMITH AND DR JONES: This isn’t good.
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About Me

- KieronMoore
- Hi there. I'm Kieron. I write films, comics, and other assorted scribbles. I like Doctor Who, LGBTQ subjects, and chocolate digestives.
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Starts off very Black Mirror, the ending's fantastic as a cold open.
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