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Thursday, 5 February 2015

On 5.2.15 by KieronMoore in ,    No comments

I'm taking part in the February Dialogue-Writing Challenge over on the 'Go Into The Story' blog. Here's my entry for Day Two (I missed Day One, and will undoubtedly miss many more), for which I've resurrected the Union officers...

Brief: Multiple characters in an argument where no one actually gets to finish a sentence.

INT. CONFERENCE ROOM – NIGHT

CHLOE, HANNAH, NEIL, MARK, and ED sit around the conference table. Late afternoon, the end-of-day team meeting. Ed’s mucking about on Tinder.

CHLOE: Right. Last on the agenda, Hannah has suggested that we…

ED: Fuck’s sake, weren’t we meant to finish twenty…

CHLOE: Yes, but this last piece will be quick. Hannah has suggested that we…

HANNAH: A new kettle!  We’ve not been able to make good tea for…

CHLOE: Yes, Hannah, if you’d let me finish, the office is desperately in need of…

HANNAH: Without my regular Earl Grey, I really can’t…

CHLOE: Get any work done, I’d noticed. Now, simple vote. Hands up, everyone who…

MARK: Wait a second. Have you filled in the campus estates new electronic appliance request…

CHLOE: No, we’ll do that later. Everyone who…

MARK: I’m sorry, Chloe, but if you read section sixteen point one point delta on the campus estates new electronic appliance request form, you’d find that there’s…

ED: Oh, for fuck’s sake, Nick Clegg, this is more boring than my grandmother’s funeral, let’s skip the bullshit and…

MARK: You’ll find, Edward, that there’s very good reason for the paperwork that needs to be filled in before purchase of a…

CHLOE: Mark, it’s a kettle, can’t we just go ahead and…

MARK: Well, no, and I’ll tell you why…

CHLOE: Never mind. No kettle. Sorry, Hannah, you’re just going to have to use the vending machine like the rest of…

HANNAH: No way! The stuff from there tastes like…

NEIL: Actually, the vending machine’s broken too, isn’t…

CHLOE: Well, thanks for ruining that solution, dickhead. Who the fuck broke…

ED: Funny story. Late night, I was bored, I had a beer open, a duck wandered by, I decided to…

CHLOE: Don’t want to know. Has anyone got any bright…

NEIL: I could fix the old kettle. I’m a dab hand with a…

CHLOE: Neil, remember when you tried to fix the printer, and you…

NEIL: Alright, alright, no need to remind me. I still have the scars on my…

MARK: Now, I don’t think we can allow you to attempt repairs of kitchen equipment, Neil, until we get you put through the correct training for…

HANNAH: Does anyone know if C-bar serves Earl…

CHLOE: Oh, for… Right, everyone shut up! Alternative solution. How about we use the old water boiler we keep…

MARK: What old boiler?

CHLOE: You know, tall, rusty thing. Under the sink, next to the…

MARK: Oh. I thought that was thrown away in 1998 after what they found living in…

ED: How the fuck does he know this stuff? He’s an oracle of useless…

MARK: I’m sorry, but if that boiler is still in the building, then it’s causing a severe hazard and we’ll have to…

HANNAH: I always thought the sink smelled of…

MARK: We’ll have to evacuate the offices with immediate…

CHLOE: Again? Can’t we…

MARK: I’ll fetch the forms. Ooh, I’ve never had the chance to fill in a…

CHLOE: No one had anything to do tonight, did they?

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