FREELANCE WRITER. JOURNALIST, AND SCRIPT READER – FAN OF SCI-FI AND CHOCOLATE DIGESTIVES – YSTV'S BEST DRESSED MEMBER 2013

Wednesday, 23 December 2009

On 23.12.09 by KieronMoore   No comments
Christmas is approaching faster than a speeding turbolaser bolt (the opposite speed to all transportation within Britain) and so I should probably get a move on with this horrid shambles of a blog entry before festive spirit overwhelms me and I need to go take a few more paracetamol.

Of course there's all that peace, family, children, Jesus stuff but what Christmas is really all about is the Doctor Who Christmas special. So before I descend into screaming "DON'T LEAVE ME, DAVID" in the manner of a drunken tramp, can I say that I predict these final specials to be very good and that Matt Smith's series will also be very good, especially with Steven Moffat in charge. Yes, as strange an idea as it is, I have no objections to Doctor Who being run by a straight man. Christmas is a time for equality, after all. DON'T LEAVE ME DAVID!


Although this is undoubtedly the must have present this Christmas, I must have a quick fanwanky paragraph about my early Christmas present from the lovely chaps at Media Molecule. The latest expansion to LittleBigPlanet, Pirates of the Carribean levels and water (yes, WATER!) is erection-inducingly awesome. I told you there'd be a Kraken boss fight. I've started my latest level (expect to see it finished around March) incorporating the new features. I won't give too much away, but my electrified Communist speedboat works perfectly. Oh, and the sexiest hessian yet - Johnny Sacking Depp is in LittleBigPlanet (as Captain Sack Sparrow in Media Molecule's best pun since their inFAMOUS costume blog)!

After Christmas comes New Year and because we all know there's no way I'll find the time to write another post between the two lavishly capitalist festival times, let's now have a quick look back on 2009:

January - Barack Obama inaugurated as first black US President. Paterson Joseph annoyed at not accomplishing a similar fate.
February - I start writing this blog and an important piece of history is made.
March - Something must have happened, I just don't know what.
April - On April 29 and April 30, Arsenal Gear crash lands into Federal Hall, causing devastation to New York City from its coast. London comes under more "light-hearted" and "rompy" threat from some space manta rays and a thief dicking around in a flying bus.
May - I leave school. Ha, I'm never going to see you again, BRGS!
June - I do my GCSEs in BRGS. And ace them. Now I'm finished, I'm never going to see you again, BRGS! Michael Jackson sadly dies and conspiracy theorists speculate tirelessly on it. My favourite theory was that he had a hereditary disease; his death was caused by a defective billy gene. Sorry.
July - Children all over the Earth announce that they are coming, paedophiles are disappointed when it turns out to be a warning about an alien invasion and Torchwood is actually, seriously excellent.
August - I cruise the seas under the helm of Captain Bang but make an enemy of a small square of chocolate brownie.
September - I join BRGS sixth form. It's like lower school but with nice chairs, and I have two of what's called a "free", which is soon reduced to just one.
October - The International Olympic Committee awards the 2016 Summer Olympics to Rio de Janeiro. That's all I've got.
November - Modern Warfare 2 is released, the most high-profile gaming launch ever. It is set in 2015 and features a level where a massive chaotic gunfight causes quite a lot of damage in Rio de Janeiro. Conspiracy theorists, go! Also, I spend my birthday attempting (and failing) to eat 20 teabags, but have an epic party which most of my year come to, sneakily disguised as a parent's evening.
December - Why the hell would I look back on a month that hasn't finished yet?

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

Tuesday, 1 December 2009

On 1.12.09 by KieronMoore   No comments
WARNING: post contains spoilertrons for Modern Warfare 2, but if you don't know the ending yet then you're either:
a) not a real nerd, because you haven't finished it yet, so get off this bit of the internet and go finish it,
b) a person with no friends, because you haven't heard anyone talking about it (it's fanbase in the UK alone is pretty much the exact size of Belgium), in which case, welcome to the internet, nerd, or
c) a Nintendo fanboy. Hi, Dale.

I got Modern Warfare 2 for my birthday last Thursday, because I'd heard that it's very good, and indeed it is, in fact it's better than you could possibly imagine (although possibly not as good as MGS4 or LBP). I played the first two levels on Thursday, but that was all, because I had to jet off to my epic birthday party. It was so awesome, nearly all the year went; I must be extremely popular! Actually, it was a parent's evening, but that's only a minor detail. By the way, the parent's evening went well: I'm brilliant, I'm a genius, Mr Wyton won't organise a trip to Germany because he'd need to find his birth certificate etc.

Personally, I'm against war, I don't like how people spend all their time making nice things and other people come along and break them, but I'm all for pretend war in games. Hopefully, all out war between Russia nd the US won't break out in reality like in MW2. If that happens, it'll be the end of everything. Everything, you understand? Even your pension!

Anyway, I've finished the whole campaign now. It was jolly well impressive: great variety of awesome gameplay elements, good graphics and whatnot. The story was a little bit silly (I still don't see why destroying the International Space Station was the best idea) but I don't think it's worth making a fuss about that. After all, there isn't a single near-invincible ninja or giant mecha, and (as you've probably gathered by now) I loved the Metal Gear Solid series. Captain Price wears some lovely hats, I should like a hat like that.

The controversial level was quite interesting and not that bad really; it's only pretending to massacre civilians (who all seem to be wearing the same clothes) in an airport. Would have been worse if it was a bus station. I loathe bus stations. Terrible places. Full of lost luggage and lost souls.

Was a slight shame that I had been spoiled though. The only thing that surprised me in the storyline was that Shepherd had a moustache. I knew he was going to be a traitor, because he's corrupt and stuff. Well, not really that corrupt. Ten million years of absolute power. That's what it takes to be really corrupt. Shepherd was just an army guy with a sideline in being a prick.

I've also played some of the multiplayer. After one game, I was at 6 kills, 3 deaths (that was a good day, I need more days like this) and very much considering never playing it again, in order to prevent myself from buggering up my good ratio. However, I gave into the temptation and played again and, lo and behold, buggered up my good ratio. I'm now at around 0.75, but I'm sure I'll get better (although I said that about all the games I've previously played). I haven't even played all the maps yet. Somehow, I've played about 3 of them 3 times each and not been allowed to touch the other ones, but my favourite so far is Derailed, because I like the mix of Russia, snow and trains. The only thing it's missing is bears. Perhaps they could be patched in, as a kill streak perk maybe? Or a third faction?

Basically, Modern Warfare 2 is so very good that it's hard to put down. I've only stopped playing for two reasons, partly to write this, but also because I was about to get RSI in my thumbs from the PS3 controller, and I like my thumb. I need my thumb. I'm very attached to my thumb. OK, back to gaming!


P.S. I've been playing this game. I count 98 points from this post alone! Shall reset counter for sixth form tomorrow.